God's Promise

Tess and I attended a conference a few years ago in Myrtle Beach. There were some transitional circumstances going on in our lives at that time and I was feeling somewhat out of place, not sure where I fit in. I wanted God to show me the “what” and “where” of my life, so I could get on with the program. John Lynch was the featured speaker for the conference.  He is one of the co-authors of "TrueFaced,” “The Cure,” and "Bo's Café." I really enjoyed reading his books and listening to his talks, so I was hoping to be inspired by something he would say.

On Sunday morning, John spoke some words of encouragement and then he asked us to share what God was telling us. As I sat there and listened to many people express very encouraging words they were receiving from God, I was deeply moved in my spirit. Of course, if you know me, you know my eyes were not dry. God reminded me of something He told me when I was 21 years old. First of all, let me explain the back-story.

I had just moved from Montana to North Florida to attend a small ministry college. Two weeks prior to moving to Florida, I was helping out at a youth camp in Northern Montana. It was the last night of camp and the evangelist preached the "wheat and tare" sermon (Mat. 14:24-30). For the first time in my Christian life, I experienced doubt about my salvation. It wasn't just a little doubt, either; it was a trainload! So, when I moved 2,000 miles away from home, I carried this doubt with me.

One afternoon I found myself alone in my dorm room. I was feeling overwhelmed by all the changes I was experiencing. For me, it felt as though many important elements of my life had been ripped away. I was 2,000 miles away from my family and friends, and the state in which I loved living. Montana is pure beauty and North Florida is, well . . . not the same. The environment in which I identified myself was a long way off. My body and soul were completely removed from their comfort zone.

The worst part, however, I was out of my spiritual comfort zone. I had always had such a deep connection with Father until this time, no matter what was going on in my life, I could endure with a peace that passes all understanding. This new doubt robbed me of that.

Anyhow, back to the dorm room. I found myself on my knees praying out to God for relief. As I knelt there all prayed out, I heard God say to me, "I am going to do something great with your life." After I heard Him say that, I cried a deep soul-wrenching cry. As I reflected on what He said, my mind at the time could only imagine what He meant by those words. I imagined God lifting me up to do some great task that would give me some kind of accolades from my fellow man. Of course, I would humbly point all the glory back to God. During some of my darkest experiences after that moment, I would think back to those words, because I knew those words were not from me.

Fast forward twenty-six years to the weekend in Myrtle Beach, as I was reminded of those words, God shared another revelation with me. He told me He had accomplished that "great" thing in my life. He said that my relationship with Him IS the greatness of my life! Through that relationship He has shown me a deeper understanding of His grace, He has shown me what it is to be free, He has convinced me of the righteousness and holiness that is mine because of Christ, He has shown me the most important thing in my life is not a "thing" but a person. When I was in my early twenties He began to destroy everything that was contrary to the truth that sets me free.

It may be tempting to wonder why God didn’t just reveal that to me on that day in the darkness of my dorm room.  It is also tempting to say, “Look at all the time I wasted!”  I realize, however, God is faithful to complete what He has started.  He knew I was not ready for that revelation.  There was too much junk in my belief system He needed to peel away, layer by layer.  On reflection, I see how God orchestrated a major crisis in my life to draw me closer to Him. His timing at Myrtle Beach was perfect.  He knew twenty-six years earlier the day, the hour, and the minute when He would reveal that amazing truth. 

I no longer look for that grand duty, task or purpose. I trust that knowing Him is life. That is what Jesus prayed to His Father in John 17:3, “This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” (NASB) Thank you Father for giving me your life! I love you!

"But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead." (Phil. 3:7-11, NASB)

Letter to Liam

Dear Liam,

Hey little buddy!  It was such a joy to see you on your birthday, even if it was for just a few moments.  As I looked at you, I saw a perfect little boy.  I don’t understand why you were born so early, but I’m glad you were born.  I have to admit, I was looking forward to all the experiences a grandfather and grandson have together.  I was chasing your cousins around my living room the other day and I told your mom how much I looked forward to chasing you around my living room.  It’s probably the only aerobic exercise I get these days!

I was also looking forward to teaching you how to fix stuff.  I’m known by our family as the guy who can fix just about anything mechanical.  I was also looking forward to teaching you how to shoot a gun and taking you hunting and camping.  You would have loved that!

I was also anticipating the big hugs we would have shared together.  I love it when your brother lays his head next to mine and just rests there for a few moments allowing me to embrace him.  One day soon you and I will share that embrace.  I can’t wait!

I love talking about Jesus and how much He means to me.  I’ve been learning more in the past few years just how much He did through His life and through his death.  I operated for many years trying to live for Jesus, which only led to conflict and frustration.  Now I live in Jesus and through His life.  He has taken a lot of pressure off of me and now I’m able to rest and experience His peace and His joy.  That is how I’m able to grieve your leaving us so soon without falling apart.  I would have loved to tell you all about Jesus, but now you know more about Him than I do!

I want to tell you a little about your family.  First of all, you have an amazing mom.  Your mom is my oldest child.  I realize you know her from a unique perspective that I can’t know, but let me tell you about her from my perspective.  She has a quiet strength that makes her the best friend anyone could ever have.  She is very loyal.  She is loving and kind to those around her.  She can look at someone and see the best in them when no one else can.  If you compare her to water, she is like a lake whose waters are still and deep.  When she was young, it was obvious that she was good with children.  By the time she was 12 she was babysitting by herself.  Parents loved her because of her deep sense of responsibility she had for their children.  They knew if your mom was caring for them, their children were safe.  She made sure they were cared for, and she entered their world on their level and spoke worth and value to them through her words and presence. 

I always knew your mom would be a good mother.  Your mom was not the typical “new” mother.  When your brother was born, she took care of him like he was the fourth born.  She was relaxed and she was not hindered by all the promises new mothers make, “when I become a mom, I’m going to ______!” or “I’m never going to _____!”  Your mom was a pro.  She was and is a confident mother.

I’ve always known that your mom’s faith was deep and personal, but your mom doesn’t verbally clarify what she believes as readily as I do.  As I have watched her go through the pain of losing you, I’ve seen with my own eyes how much of a spiritual giant she truly is.  In the midst of her pain, she was ministering to the hospital staff after you were born.  I’ve seen the glory of God flow out of her actions, her words, and her emotions.  She is truly amazing!

Now let me tell you about your dad.  He is a fun dad and his love for your mom, your brother and for you runs very deep.  He’s not like a lot of other dads who expect the mom to do all the mundane stuff of caring for children.  I’ve watched your dad feed, change diapers, give baths, clean up messes, and make sure your brother is cared for.  He doesn’t see any of those duties as beneath him.  Most of all, I’ve watched your dad love on your brother with all his might.  He is not afraid to hug him and kiss him and continually tell him how much he loves him.  You could not have asked for a better dad. 

You would also be proud of your dad’s accomplishments.  Your dad is an amazing guitarist.  It comes natural to him.  He taught himself.  I’ve watched him play with much envy.  He’s tried teaching me a little, but I’m a lost cause when it comes to playing the guitar! 

One of the things your dad was looking forward to was taking you fishing.  He loves to fish and he’s pretty good at it.  I like to fish, but not like your dad.  He can spend hours fishing without getting a bite, and still feel like his time was well spent.

One more thing about your dad, he loves God with all his heart.  He truly desires to live a life well-pleasing to Him.  Your dad, like all the rest of us, has had his struggles in this life, but he keeps pressing forward knowing that God is making him into the person He predestined him to be.  I see God using the pain of losing you to conform your dad more into the image of Christ.  Please know that your short life was not a waste for your dad, it counted for more than you can imagine.

I want to tell you a little about your brother Killian.  He is a lot of fun.  I know the two of you would have been great friends.  Killian always lights up a room.  He is always smiling and I’ve never been around someone who can laugh like him at such a young age.  When I hear him laugh, I laugh. 

I’ve noticed that your brother has an aptitude for mechanical things (like his papa).  He can figure out how something works pretty quickly.  Before he was a year old, he could put a straw in the small straw hole on a cup.  That is hard for some adults I know! 

Your big brother lights up my life and anyone else with whom he comes in contact.  I don’t know what he is going to be like when he grows up, but I know he will be a great man, especially if the best of his mom and dad are built into his character.

Next, there is your Mimi.  She has been excited to welcome you into this world.  She had the honor of being with your mom and dad when you were born.  If love was like water, you would have been surrounded like an ocean by her love for you.  I watch your Mimi pour herself into your brother and your cousins with all her heart.  Your Mimi loves her grandkids selflessly and sacrificially.  Your Mimi is a giving person naturally, but when it comes to her grandkids, she would give everything. 

Your Mimi is one of the Godliest women I know.  She is always lifting up her children and grandchildren to God in prayer.  She trusts God to take care of her family.  She knows that He is the giver and sustainer of life.  She knows and believes that having a relationship with God is the greatest thing to have.  She so desires to see her children and grandchildren living out of that relationship.

You would have loved your Uncle Luke and Aunt Cassie and your cousin Landon.  They are sad you couldn’t stay with us.  They had to say goodbye to a son or daughter back in December.  Please let him or her know how much they are loved. 

You would have loved your Uncle Luke’s sense of humor and his big hugs.  He gives the best hugs.  Your Aunt Cassie has the prettiest smile and she makes awesome desserts!  Your cousin Landon has a very contagious laugh and he loves to play.  You would have had a great time playing with him.

You would have also loved your Uncle Cameron and Aunt Moriah and your cousin Aylen.  Uncle Cameron and Aunt Moriah love to have fun.  You would have had a good time hanging out with them. 

Your cousin Aylen is a beautiful little girl, however, I have to warn you, she is your oldest cousin and she is a little bossy.  You boys probably can’t hold a candle to her resolve.  I was chasing her around my living room the other night trying to kiss her on the head before I went to bed.  She is finally fast enough to outrun me!  After I gave up trying to catch her she said, “Papa, you have to catch me if you want to kiss me!”  I told her, “I hope you tell all the boys that!”  We’ll see.

There are so many more I want to tell you about, like your great grandparents and your great uncles and aunts.  You have such a rich heritage and that’s just your mom’s side of the family.  Your dad’s side of the family is awesome also.  I’ll let them tell you all about that side.

It would have been a privilege and an honor to see you grow into the man I know you would have been, and I’m very sorrowful that your family and me will not get that opportunity.  Life here can be tough, and losing you is one of those tough, unbearable experiences we all seem to go through.  God never promised us we would have struggle free lives.  As a matter of fact, we were promised just the opposite.  James said to consider it all joy when we encounter various trials.  Paul said not to lose heart when we are experiencing the pains of this life.  He even described that suffering as “momentary, light affliction.”  I’ve got to be honest, losing you doesn’t feel like “light affliction,” it feels heavy.

God, however, is teaching me to see everything from His perspective.  When I see my earthly life from His perspective, I realize even my life is a breath compared to eternity.  I’m also realizing that when God looks at your life, what we see as a breath here, He sees as eternal.  You were made for eternal relationship with Him because He desired you.  You exist because of Him, and that gives you more worth than you can imagine.

Liam, please know that our pain of losing you is producing in us a greater glory beyond comparison.  You matter and your life here mattered.  Through you God is teaching us to trust Him in all circumstances.  We are all going to miss you, but we will see you soon.

With all my love,

Papa

Great Sadness Mixed with Great Joy!

Many of you have heard by now that my oldest daughter, Cherise, gave birth to her second son last Thursday. Unfortunately, he came at 21 weeks. By the time she realized she was in labor it was too late to stop it. She gave birth to Liam Jones on February 5th. He was perfect. He came out fighting for life, but without properly formed lungs, he lasted a little over an hour. If he had been 24 weeks or older, he would have had a chance.

Of course, this tragedy has brought all of us great sadness. We were all anticipating him being born in June. We all had our dreams of what he would be like, who he would look like, and what kind of personality he would manifest. There are all kinds of questions that come to mind and the biggest one is "why?" I know my kids are hoping for some kind of answer because they want to have more children in the future. In spending time with Kellen (Cherise's husband), we both agree that Killian (big brother) doesn't seem destined to be an only child.

We are all processing this with hope. We know God was not distant or uncaring toward Cherise and Kellen. "We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Rom. 8:28, NASB) Knowing this doesn't change our sadness or diminish our loss, but we know He loves us and Liam more than we can imagine.

Even though Liam's life was short, he was loved. His life mattered to us and still does. He brought great joy to our hearts because we wanted him. He was conceived in love, he spent 21 weeks surrounded by the love of his mom, dad and family, and he spent one glorious hour being intensely loved by those with whom he came into contact. Even the doctor and nurse were touched to their core.

We know life will go on, but we will always remember Liam Jones and that beautiful little face that graced our lives.

Suffering

Someone recently asked me the question, “Why do some experience more suffering than others?” I think the more burning question in their mind was, “Why does God allow more suffering in a God-believing, God-fearing Christian than He does in an unbeliever or carnal minded Christian?” Of course, I really can’t answer that question and neither can you. However, we all want to take a stab at the answer, and I think that is ok.

That question is not a new struggle. You find that same struggle in the Bible (Job 12:6; Ps. 73:3-9; Jer. 12:1-2). I think Malachi best summed it up, “Now we call the arrogant blessed; not only are the doers of wickedness built up but they also test God and escape." (Mal. 3:15,NASB) From our limited perspective, it seems God is blessing the wicked and allowing them to prosper, while we who love Him and are committed to Him suffer.

When we come into this world, we observe expectations about life from our parents, relatives, friends, peers, teachers, pastors, media, etc. Those expectations become rights we believe we must have in order to have a “good” life. When our rights or expectations go unmet, we suffer. It is when we suffer that we are tempted to ask the questions above.

First of all, the comparison game will get us nowhere. Only God can answer the “why me and not them” question. I see that query as a distraction from what God is doing in my life. So, if we take the other person out of the question it becomes, “Why do I suffer?” Now… there is a biblical answer to that question! Let’s look at perspective for a moment.

God is eternal and He is not limited to our “time and space” existence. He does interact in our time because that is where we exist right now. When God told Moses that His name was “I AM,” He was revealing a deep truth about Himself. He was letting Moses know that He doesn’t have a past or a future in the sense that we do. Personally, I can’t even begin to comprehend that! The Bible says that a thousand years is like one day and one day is like a thousand years (Ps. 90:4; 2 Pet. 3:8).

From God’s perspective, our suffering is less than a moment. Yet, when He interacts with us in our suffering, He experiences every grueling second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year or years with us. He wants to comfort us and whisper to us, “Everything will be okay by child. I’ll wait with you until it is over.” When we trust Him and see our suffering from His perspective He does something supernatural in our thinking that is like an unveiling of a mystery. As our thinking is changed and renewed, our beliefs change, as our beliefs change, our behaviors change.

I think Paul reveals the reason for our suffering in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, “For we don't want you to be unaware, brothers, of our affliction that took place in Asia: we were completely overwhelmed -- beyond our strength -- so that we even despaired of life. Indeed, we personally had a death sentence within ourselves, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.” (HCSB)

It is through our suffering we learn complete and utter dependence on God. We learn more of the depths of His love and goodness. He makes His grace more visible in our lives. Suffering is the perfect storm to strip away all that hinders His glory from being seen in us. We have all of His glory, but it is operating out of self-reliance that shields His glory in us.

When we suffer, our emotions are screaming out for relief.  If we listen to our emotions as though they are the guiding force in our lives, we will make choices that only lead to more suffering. God wants to transform our thinking thereby changing our understanding so we can see things from His perspective. This process deepens our faith in Him. To live by faith is being fully convinced that what God has promised He will be able to perform (Rom. 4:21).

Paul best describes this process, “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:16-18, NASB)

When suffering comes our way, we can see it from God’s perspective and rely on Him to walk us through “the valley of the shadow of death” (Ps. 23:4). He is turning our ashes into beauty (Is. 61:3). We will see His glory in us in ways that only He can accomplish. When our response to suffering changes from “why me” to “not my will, but Yours,” then we will know we are trusting in the Lover of our soul.

The "I Am" Life

Over the years I have heard so much about the “self” life. You know, “It’s all about me.” Well-meaning folks have taught that we should learn to deny ourselves so we can be free from this self-life. It sounds good and it sounds right. However, what are we truly denying? You’ve heard the expression, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.” If we’re not careful, we will find ourselves throwing out the very thing God wants us to retain.

If you don’t understand the truth of being born again and becoming a new creation, then the “self” that you see is probably the old self. In 2 Corinthians 5:17 Paul says that the “old things passed away.” The Greek word for old is “archaios.” It means: original, primitive, ancient. It suggest a nature or original character.[i] According to Paul, the original sinful nature that focused on “me” or “I” is gone. There is a new nature that is different from the old.

There is, however, a programming that has been left behind from that old self. Paul mentions that “old self” in Romans 6:6, Ephesians 4:22 and Colossians 3:9. “Old” in those verses is the Greek word “palaios.” It refers to something that is “worn-out” as in our mode of thought, feelings and actions.[ii]

We have made the mistake of thinking our old self is still alive and well, when the truth is it has been crucified with Christ. The enemy has deceived us into believing it is still alive, so we spend a good portion of our time fighting sin through behavior management protocols.

The new man or new creation is a new “self.” This new self has been created in the image and likeness of God. If that sounds familiar, it’s because that was God’s original design found in Genesis 1:26. We now have His image restored through the work of Christ in His death, burial, resurrection and ascension.

In this new life we have the privilege of living the “I Am” life. Our new self is a co-union of God and me. That is the “self” from whom God wants us to live. This new self is not the old self-centered, selfish, sin-generating creature. The new self is “heaven-bent” on producing holy and righteous behavior that glorifies God. This is the heart of understanding Colossians 3:4, “When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.” (NASB)

Embracing the “I Am” life is not an act of arrogance or pride, but it is humbly believing what God says is true of us. Out of the “I Am” life flows the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23 and the characteristics of love found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

When we believe the lies the enemy throws at us, we will struggle with "lust of the flesh." His biggest lie proclaims that we are our struggle. When we believe the truth, peace flows in like a light that invades the darkness.

We must trust our own heart for it belongs to Him. The battle is in our mind, not in our heart. Our heart longs to embrace the truth of who we are in Christ.

“ I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.” (Eph. 1:18-19a, NASB)

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[i] Strongs NT 744. THAYER'S GREEK LEXICON, Electronic Database. Copyright © 2002, 2003, 2006, 2011 by Biblesoft, Inc. 

[ii] Strongs NT 3820. THAYER'S GREEK LEXICON, Electronic Database. Copyright © 2002, 2003, 2006, 2011 by Biblesoft, Inc. 

Happy New Year!

Well, here it is - 2015! We're almost half way through another decade. As I look back over the past year, there were some great highlights. However, there were also some moments I don't want to re-live either. 2014, though, is in the can. We can't go back and re-do anything, we have to let it go.

As I go forward, I'm not going to mess up my new year with regrets of the past or even doom myself to failure by making promises I can't keep. I've never been a proponent of "new years resolutions." They are promises you make to yourself that you are going to break. That will only lead to shame and guilt and those are poor motivators for self-improvement.

A lot of my mental energy last year went toward counseling and helping to write a discipleship book. As I looked back to see how many times I posted on this blog page, it was only five times. Now, I'm not going to sit here and beat myself up, however tempting that might be! Nor am I going to promise to you or to myself that this year will be better. Greg Brezina, the founder of Christian Families Today, tells us to submit our wills to the Holy Spirit in everything. That is my desire for 2015. I only want to do what He wants to do, nothing more, nothing less.

So, having laid that foundation, I want to change how I even write for this blog page. In the past, I would wait for some great profound spiritual/theological/inspirational thought before I would write. (5 post doesn't indicate I only had 5 profound thoughts in 2014!) This year I want to write what is on my mind, whether it is a spiritual thought, or how to season cast iron. Living Life is about living. Living is done daily and it is done at home, at work, at church, at the grocery store, at the bank, at the beach, at the mountains, wherever I am, wherever you are.

The enemy is always tempting us to believe we are bad because we did something wrong or we didn't do something right! And, we make the mistake many times thinking this is the work of the Holy Spirit! He (the enemy) is a tricky one. The Holy Spirit wants us to remember how holy, righteous, and perfect we are. This truth hangs up in the throat of many a Christian because it sounds too good to be true.

So, for 2015, I want you and me to enjoy our freedom in Christ. Let's not spend our time being an instrument of the enemy beating our own selves. Let's listen to what the Holy Spirit says about us and be safe in His opinion of us. If we do this, it will be a banner year.